The Way Things Work ". . . what each individual wills is obstructed by everyone else, and what emerges is something that no one willed." Engels Jean decides that she should see her friend Martha soon. Michael admits that he should visit his parents, who still live in the small town where he grew up. He feels this way because he dodged it at Christmas. Michael mentions to Ken that they could all meet in Los Angeles for a day of fun and frolic. Brian agrees. Each makes separate plans. Driving to the airport Michael begins to flip out. "I don't want to go!", he shouts. Parental visits are not his strong suit. "I don't wanna . . . " he whines. "Careful of that truck," Jean cautions as she hastily buckles her seat belt. "Maybe we'll miss the plane. Why is it when I take time off from work I have to do something else just as stupid?" "That's a red light." Safely off the ground, Michael is resigned to the fate for which he has been selected. "You'll spend a couple days with your parents, and then come into LA and have fun with your friends as a reward," Jean consoles him. He rents a car and drives Jean to Claremont to meet Martha, who, for a reason Michael can never remember, is a student in the Religion Graduate program. After getting directions to Martha's home in Fullerton, in order to connect later, he takes off for the parents. A long blank period later Michael meets Jean in Fullerton and they drive into LA to hook up with Brian and Ken at a Jewish restaurant. The restaurant is on strike when they arrive, but there is a parking place in front so they stop to reconnoiter. As they get out of the car the strikers disband. The place is huge and noisy and there is no sign of the boys. Michael waits in line behind two women who just don't seem to fit together. Both are fairly tall, one is thin with bright red hair and a harem costume, the other is stocky and muscular, but looks like a suburban housewife. They are talking about the redhead's artwork. She has an breathy and dramatic presentation. Suddenly Michael realizes that he knows these people, and they are probably waiting for Ken, as well. Just as he strikes up a conversation, Brian bursts in the door and Stacey, the redhead, gushes "Hiiiii Brian!" "Ken's parking his brother's," Brian shudders slightly, a conditioned response from talking about his own brother, "car." The other woman, Kate, an ex-Olympic javelin thrower says, "Did you sleep well?" "It was wonderful." Jean returns from the restroom. Brian is surprised, "What are you doing here?" "This whole thing was my idea." "Oh." Ken comes in, "I had to park all the way down the block." "They have a parking lot next door, you know," Michael says. "Oh." They all jabber through a huge lunch and many cups of coffee, then try to decide what to do next. Kate has to run errands and Stacey needs to be at work in two hours. "We could go to Blitzkrieg. It's a cafe on Sunset," she says. Three of their four cars drive to Blitzkrieg and one runs errands. Blitzkrieg is closed. "Well let's just meet at Opals', where I work. Kate'll be there soon and I'll be there in a hour. I have to do some things." Two of the cars go to Opals' and another one breaks off for errands. After more coffee with Kate the three boys are beginning to giggle to each other about things no one else understands. Jean stares out the window. Stacey arrives and directs them to the anti-Gulf-War art exhibit in the cafe's parking lot. One piece allows the attendees to decorate their money with rubber stamps. Michael inscribes all his bills with the slogans, "Lick safe Dick, not Arabs," and "Lick safe Clit, not Arabs," and ends up puzzled on the curb in front of Opals'. "I made a decision yesterday," Brian announces. "I decided, 'We're not going to stay at Laurie's tonight'. There was so much noise, it was like a circus with cars and neighbors, and the rap radio station down the hill. Fifty million watts. The water heater was going 'Thump, thump, thump.' So we stayed at Stacy's. It's the only decision I've made so far." Kate points to where he stands in the gutter. His boots are slowly being covered by a stream of water from somewhere uphill. Brian shrugs, "Maybe we should stay somewhere else tonight." "Well you're welcome to stay at my place," Kate says, "But you're going to have to tone down the SSB." "SSB?" Brain hasn't moved out of the gutter. "Self Stimulatory Behavior." "Are we getting too weird, yet?" "Not yet. Soon. You all wanna watch the sunset from Griffith Park?" They pile into Kate's Audi. Once there Brian buys Michael a plastic Space Shuttle model, injection molded before your very eyes for a dollar, and falls in love with the James Dean memorial. "Its got a star on it. This is an observatory isn't it?" "Its dinner time," Ken says. "We're going to meet my brother," Brian shivers, "and Laurie. At Osome. For dinner." Kate drops them back at Opals'. Michael foolishly says, "I'll drive now." The combination of the afternoon's coffee intake and the dinner's saki and raw fish has made them giddy, and it is time to find something exciting to do on Saturday night in the Big City. Ken and Brian decide to stay at a new place that night. "If we're going to stay at Kate's we should get our bags from Stacey's," Ken says. He seems too logical. "Besides I want to change my pants, the button is broken and I've spilled at least three cups of coffee on them so far." Michael drives them to Stacey's. The key she gave Ken doesn't actually operate the lock. Michael drives them back to Opals', on the chance that Stacey may still be working. Ken goes in to get a replacement key and returns with a Finn named Flubber who seems to be the replacement house guest. At least he has a different key. Michael drives them back to Stacey's where they trade Flubber for the luggage. He then drives them to the TikiTi on Sunset. "Brooke told me about this place. Isn't it great?" They whine, but he mollifies them with Blue Hawaiians. The place is about 10 feet square and, by the time they leave, it contains at least 100 people. Michael drives them down Melrose looking for a place to park. They cruise past the hot dog-shaped Hot Dog stand. "I knew it was around here somewhere," Michael says proudly. He then takes a circuitous route to Wilshire Bulevard, "There it is," he shouts. "There it is!" 'It' is a huge statue of John Wayne on a horse. Michael swears it used to spin around slowly. No one else is impressed. "We have to pee." Michael drives them back to Opals'. After the rest stop they get back into Michaels car. "I should call everyone and find out if anything is happening," Ken says. "There's a phone." Ken gets back out of the car. Jean is the only person in the car who has a clear view of Ken's activities. She issues periodic reports. "He's dialing." "He hung up." "He's looking over here." "He's fumbling with his address book." "He's dialing again." "Now he's listening." "He hung up again." "Dialing." "Now he's talking." "Nope. He hung up." "Looking over here." "Fumbling." "Dialing." "Nope." "Dialing." "Talking." "He just shrugged." "He's coming over here." "No. He turned around." "He's looking in the coin return." "He just shrugged again." "Now he's coming back." Ken gets into the car and stares straight ahead. "Well?" "Everyone's out except Laurie, who's asleep, and my brother, Brian shudders, who said we could come over later on." "He lives downtown, right?" "Yeah. Its a hip neighborhood now." Michael drives them to City Hall. They cruise around until they see a lot of youngish people hanging out in front of a bar. They park and check it out. The place is painfully fashionable. They get back into the car. "I'm kinda tired," Michael says. "From seeing my parents and all." They go back to the Opals' for the last time and say their goodbys. Ken and Brian drive north to Kate's. Michael and Jean drive south to Martha's. When they arrive he opens the trunk to get his bag and says, "Uh-oh." "What?" asks Jean. Michael cannot decide, but there is something definitely wrong. Jean looks into the trunk. "Those aren't mine." There are two pieces of luggage that do not belong there, "Oh. Ken and Brian." They rummage through the bags until they find something that looks like an address book. After some rumination on how "Kate" might be listed, contact is made. The next morning they give Martha's friend John a ride on the way to the airport. He has carefully packed a bookbag in order to spend the afternoon accompaning Martha in her studies at the Claremont library. They drop John off and continue to the airport. As they are turning into the car rental lot Jean says, "Uh-oh," and picks up John's bag from behind the seat. Michael says, "You know, I think I left Brian's address book at Martha's." The lot attendant says, "Do you have any bags in the trunk?" Michael and Jean begin to laugh. The guy looks perplexed. "Well, there are bags there, but they're not ours." He opens the trunk. "Those aren't yours?" he says, concerned. "No, but we know who they belong to. This car has a magnetic personality." Michael and Jean carry everyone's baggage though security and onto the plane. XXX (c) 1993,96 M. I. Smith